Chrysler lost 17 billion dollars last year. Most of it just fell into that space between the seat and the console where your hand won't fit.

A notebook was found from the 1800's containing the original recipe for Dr. Pepper. The ledger features 2 pages of ingredients and the rest repeated scribblings of “I Hate You Coca-Cola”.

Jimmy Buffet has become a part owner of the Miami Dolphins saying the relationship makes marketing sense because he’s known for island living. The opportunity comes just in time too as Buffet was about to record his new album “I'm kind of into Vikings”.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon celebrated their 1st anniversary defying cynics who'd said the unusual pairing was all for publicity. Nick surprised Mariah with a party for friends and she surprised him by learning his name.

Terrorists are blowing up targets using innocent donkeys fit with explosives. Informed that they'd be rewarded with 72 virgins, donkeys said “We can get laid on our own thanks!”.

Mexico says the swine flu has ebbed and it's safe to visit Mexico again. Today Montazuma released a statement saying “Helloooo! Still here, THANK YOU!"

The Supreme Court is reviewing its indecency ruling regarding Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction. A big question is whether the breast exposure which only lasted 9/16ths of a second can be considered decipherable . Whatever the court's verdict, I just want to remind my buddies from 7th grade , anything over half a second totally counts!