Jokes from the news - April 28thish

Casey Kasem turned 77 yesterday, shooting up one notch after a full year at 76.

Pakistan's president's said that Osama bin Laden might be dead but added that they have no proof. Yeah, I could’ve said that too.

New Yorkers are angry after Air Force One flew close to the ground for a photoshoot causing a great deal of fear for those who thought the city was underattack. To put a silver lining on it, wasn’t it nice to forget, even just for a brief moment, that pigs are trying to kill us.

A new drug to rival Viagra has been testing successfully on male rats. Apparently it works faster and lasts longer. Scientists are worried that if the drug doesn’t work on human males, them rats are gonna steal our women.

A new iphone app is out that will keep people from drunk dialing their exes. The call automatically drops anytime it’s after midnight and the phone hears “Whaddaryadooin?”

Senator Arlen Spector is switching from the Republican party to the Democratic party for next years election. Asked how it would affect his vote, Spector responded, “now it will count”

An Iranian politician is outraged that Oranges were imported from Israel calling it a Citrus plot by Israel to undermine Iran with infidel fruit. How do you reason with people whose hatred extends to fruit? Don't even try to talk to them about juice.

A cruise ship fought off a pirate attack off the African coast. No passengers were hurt. In fact, most of them ranked it the 2nd most entertaining event after the sexy legs contest.

Voters in the Swiss Alps have banned hiking in the nude after dozens of German nudists were found rambling through the country side. They did say the idea of Germans coming over the mountain was less scary when they were naked.

The 1st gay wedding in Iowa is likely to begin today. First they vote Obama in the primary. Now they allow gay marriage. Mommy, why does Iowa hate America?

A Serbian union official chopped off his finger and ate it in a protest over wages that in some cases have not been paid in years. Wow, disgusting and willing to work for minimum wage. Sounds like a Dominos man!